Thursday, April 16, 2009

My future life

A bright, coral dress caught my eye recently. When I tried it on, I found that it was really flattering and I looked quite happy in it too. But I thought, where am I wearing a bright, coral dress? A date? No. An event? None on the horizon. So where?

When I explained this dress to someone, I described it as a dress for "my future life." Sometime in the future I will get dressed up to go to dinner, or maybe even a date. I cant imagine dating now and I don't know when I'll be ready. Now it seems like such a bizarre concept. While I am not with him anymore, he is still "with" me. I cant share any part of myself with another person right now. In my heart, I'm still only his. At some point, this wont be the case. But that's in the future.

Now though, I think about my future life. What it will it be like? Will it include fancy dresses? I haven't bought anything fancy yet, but I sometimes wonder. I also wonder about "my future apartment." There will be a day when I'll have my very own home again.

I've seen a few things that I'd like for the kitchen of my future apartment. I don't have much at this point. What I do have is quite the ragtag team and besides, everything is in boxes now. I'm not faced with the mugs he filled with tea for me at night, the plates we used to assemble the dinners we made together, or the bowls we piled high with ice cream sundaes. When those boxes are opened and I start unpacking, I wonder how many of those things I wont be able to bear to look at again. I'm not sure yet what all of that will feel like. Again, its the future me unpacking boxes and perhaps sobbing into latte bowls and packing paper.

I imagine that when I do start to fill my future home, I'll amass a collection of things I truly love. I'd like to be surrounded by things I really enjoy.

I've had my eye on...

Ikat bowls from Anthropologie


Alessi Le Posate Ice Cream Heart Spoons






Phantom Table Lamp by cb2


Branch Hooks (for jewlery) by Urban Outfitters


Pod Table by Urban Outfitters

2 comments:

  1. Isnt it exciting to think about your future life?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes it is! I'm looking forward to it!

    ReplyDelete

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