Happiness

My best friend asked me the question, one week after my break-up, "If you could do anything in the world, what would it be?" I was kind of dumb struck, I had no idea how to answer that question and she was shocked. How could I not know, if the sky was the limit, what I wanted to do most in this world?

Now when I ask myself that same question, I end up with vague images of what my ideal life looks like, but it isn't tangible yet. They are just glimpses. I think I first have to ask myself, "What makes me happy?"

Ever since I was very young, I only wished for one thing when I blew out the candles on my birthday cake.

"To be happy."

I wasn't an unhappy kid, in fact I was a very happy, well-adjusted kid. But for as long as I can remember, I knew that if I had to wish for something for my future, it should undoubtedly be for happiness. I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up, or where I would live, or who I would be with; I only knew that when I was doing whatever I ended up doing, I had to be happy doing it. So every year I wished for the same thing.

"Happiness"

After this break-up, and only very recently, it occurred to me that happiness is all up to me. I have to be the one that makes that wish a reality. So, "What do I want to do?" and "What makes me happy?"

Well.... it's my my job to figure that out now.