Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Somebody That I Used to Know

I heard "Somebody That I Used to Know" by Goyte yesterday. When I heard the first part I felt this startling moment of recognition, it was almost alarming, and it touched my heart -- feeing it so close to me that I felt this pain in the pit of my stomach when I related to the words.

Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad it was over

Then I heard the female part and a grin flashed across my face. In my last relationship I was constantly made to believe that I had done everything wrong. Even though I know that wasn't the truth, it still hurts to have been treated that way.

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
But had me believing it was always something that I'd done
But I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say

It's such a good song that describes the sadness that you can feel when a relationship is over, and it got me thinking about the feelings you can feel that you almost feel guilty for feeling.

Feeling lonely in the company of the person you love.
Feeling glad something is over even though it breaks your heart.
Feeling terribly about all the hurt that two people can cause even though they've loved each other.

But slowly you start to realize that despite all that happened, all the fights, all the disappointment, and all the anger, that you absolutely no longer need to live that way anymore.

And that feels good, even though it breaks your heart.


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