Photo by delicate dear
So did you see that thing on Facebook where you can create a collage of all your status updates from the year? This application takes all your statuses, lists them by month, and then let's you choose which ones to put in the collage. I barely ever update my status so there weren't that many to choose from, but when I looked at what I had written this year, I kinda cringed. I don't need to tell you this, but this year has, in many ways, been gut-wrenching, comical, and at times surreal.
Reading all the status updates neatly listed on the page felt like I was looking at a timeline of what I've been through this year and since you now know me, you know I love a good list/timeline/bit of recreational documentation. I didn't make the collage, but I felt the need to share.
February (when I was in the thick of the breakup, trying to keep it together):
- is finding NPR very soothing today. (I remember being at work, trying to concentrate and failing, and so I turned on NPR and found it to be an excellent way to keep my mind occupied. It helped me focus on my work and not break into sobs in the middle of my office. Thanks, Terry Gross.)
- feels like she's in a John Hughes "rite de passage" movie.
- cannot wait to get to sunny San Diego tomorrow. It is much, much needed... (The trip I wrote about in My Magical Best Friend.)
- is loving San Diego and is threatening to never return to stupid, snowy Chicago.....
- is back in Chicago..... ew. (Can you tell I didn't want to come home?)
- is giving the crazies the chances.
- Dear Facebook, Thank you for making me vomit today. Sincerely, Ms. Bonheur. (The day I saw that photo of him and some random girl and the day of his subsequent de-friending.)
- My mom just texted me and referred to some people as “douchebags” but she wrote “db's” instead. I love my mom. (Mom, who were you calling douchebags??)
- is back home... albeit begrudgingly. I wonder if a move to California is in my future.
So, Dear Followers of my humble blog, I don't know about you, but I'm looking forward to saying goodbye to 2009. While I loved it because it was the beginning of many immensely positive changes in my life, it was also, as you know, pretty rough. But I guess that's how you change and how you grow. You gotta get through the good, the bad, and the occasional emotional shitstorm to come out the other end a better person, or something like it.
Photo by SigurDD
A few weeks back I learned in a conversation with a good friend in the westcoast that "my ex had been involved in a car accident, but that she had walked away". Apparently 'the car had been totaled".
ReplyDeleteI did not know that, I said. I would not know, I said, none of them (the ex or the sister) said anything and we have not talked[this was after she called me]. Oh no,no, he said, they did not call me either, it appeared on my wall as a Facebook update! The weird thing is, I have never received such updates from them [even though they are both on his friend's list]. Why do you think that is? I have no idea.[But they did know he would tell me such thing..hmm]
I know my friend and he can easyly fumble a story. I did consider calling her[the ex]. I then decided against it. If in her crisis she did not feel compelled to reach out for my support, or empathy, then it was not my place to force upon her. As harsh as it may sound, we are two separate individuals now.
Facebook can and is used to manipulate others, and it is proven to be a toxic source of information when it comes to break ups. It is not a substite for open genuine communications. In the end there is only one person that knows the true meaning of each post [when posted], Us [and not all the time]
Santaslil
I'm with you in being ready to wish a not so fond farewell to 2009. I also did that status thing and it was too painful to see how happy I was in some of them (or maybe just choosing to see the positive). BUT new years is a good time to draw a line under things and enjoy a fresh start. 2010 will be whatever we want it to be - I hope yours is wonderful!
ReplyDeleteI hope yours is wonderful too, Rules! I'm looking forward to the fresh start and know 2010 will be wonderful for us both.
ReplyDeleteThis is awesome. Truly awesome. I cannot wait to get on FB to check this out. Watch my blog, because I will inevitably post these highlights on it. Hilarity will ensue. Thank you for this tip. You totally made my day.
ReplyDelete2009 can kiss my ass.
ReplyDeleteHere's a toast to 2010. May we all have a Very Good Year.
Glad to have made your acquaintance, le bonheur (and Rules, and Santaslil, et al), despite the circumstances, and I look forward to us all sharing stories of our better days to come.
itneverrains: I think, in my original post, I actually said, "2009 can kiss my ass!", but then I thought about it and felt oddly thankful for everything that happened to me this year. I could most certainly be doing the same exact thing as last year and wishing something would change. Same goes for you I bet, it seems like you're making big, ultimately positive, and yes, painful changes but its all for a good reason. Glad to make your acquaintance too! I love our little breakup bloggers community. Looking forward to seeing what's next for us all in 2010.
ReplyDeleteJ.K. Kennedy: Glad you liked this one! Cant wait to see your FB highlights too. Its a fun and strangely cathartic exercise.
ReplyDeleteAt times I hate the influence FB has on our life... at the same time it helps us document a timeline of our life... as do many social networks... and looking back is the easiest way to remind us of how far we've come!
ReplyDeleteCongrats girl... here's to 2010! :-)
Thank you, E! It did help me look back and feel like I accomplished something pretty huge. Here's to 2010 for you too! :)
ReplyDeleteThis made me laugh! " a shit patty, topped with shit, on a shit bun," I hear that... This year has been crazy, and like you, I'm really looking forward to 2010. I hope it brings everything you need too. Good luck with your new blog!
ReplyDelete