Monday, November 28, 2011

The Onset of Dating

I'd like to backtrack a little by discussing my pre-relationship life and getting you up to speed on my dating misadventures.

So, here's how dating began.

I didn't think I was going to meet anyone that special when I started dating. It was just an experiment. An experiment in sampling a life that so many other people seemed to be partaking in, a dating life. I approached it pretty casually, and that's exactly how it started.

A perfectly normal guy met me for coffee, in the middle of a perfectly normal afternoon in late April of last year. We met, we chatted politely, expressed interest in each other's stories and lives and then strolled around my town. There wasn't anything noteworthy about him or us together. In the end, I didn't think that I wanted to see him again, but also couldn't point to any reason why I shouldn't. He did nothing offensive or bizzare, he was just... meh. So we ended the date and I resolved to see him again sometime. Maybe he had something special that I just didn't see yet. After all, I had no experience in dating so I figured that's what dating was. You try people out, right? I didn't know. I'd only ever been in long-term relationships. 

I think in that respect, I'm a little like Cher.

I'm serious. Hear me out.

I remember this thing that Cher's famously said, that she's never really dated anyone. Her relationships start with a first date and then almost immediately the guy moves in and it turns into a serious long-term relationship that goes on for years and years. See? I'm like Cher. So dating was a new thing to me and because of that, I committed to going on as many dates as I could and told myself that I would not fall for someone too fast. I resolved to be less like Cher (although I think we could all benefit from being more like her in every other way. I mean, come on, she's a badass).

And so I trudged on.

My second date with a potential suitor, was quite the opposite. There wasn't too much that was normal about it, and here's how it went. We agreed to meet at a bar in the late afternoon. When I walked in, I found him sitting at the bar, dripping in sweat. I mean, sweating through his clothes. It was off-putting. It wasn't even that hot out, it was May, but I thought, "Hey don't blame him for being a sweaty guy." As I sat down next to him at the bar he mumbled something I didnt quite catch. I asked him to repeat himself and he said I was very attractive and that he hadn't been sure he wanted to date again, he had some bad experences recently, but explained that I was very cute and he was glad he showed up for the date. I'm serious. He told me he was glad he showed up. He said all that 2 minutes into meeting me. I felt like he wanted me to be greateful that he showed up, that he was bestowing his awesome pressence upon me. 
But I carried on, brushed it off, and with a big smile plastered on my face I went on in good spirts. We got to talking and I came to learn that he had been in a 7 year relationship with a woman he did not find physically attractive and from the sounds of it, didn't sleep with for most of the relationship and regarded her as a friend more than a girlfriend. It was very complicated and I never understood the whole story there, but honestly, why was he telling me that?

Another odd thing that this guy did not have in his favor was the fact that he had a sketchy job having something to do with buying and selling artwork on ebay that almost sounded made up. He also spent a good chunk of time telling me about a very close male friend of his, a man who, from the sounds of it, he thought to be one of the most amazing people he knew. He used words like, "he's just so electrifying" and "the kind of guy everyone wants to be around." I got the feeling he wished this friend of his were sitting in front of him, sipping a drink in a candlelit bar, and not me, and as soon as I saw an out, excused myself to run home early. Oh, and did I mention that he hardly ever looked me in the eye as I talked to him? I'm serious, he did that too.

At the end of the date, before I bolted, he asked me how it went. He wanted to know if I was interested in him and if the date had gone well. It's like he wanted a performance review. Well, believing very much in honesty and not wasting anyone's time at that point, I told him that I had a nice time but didn't like the fact that he never looked me in the eye. Well, sorry folks, I mean let's be honest, I found it to be rude. He felt bad and apologized. But I just didn't have time for that kind of behaviour. Sorry. No, thanks.

My next date with a potential suitor seemed almost to good to be to true. Pediatric surgeon, motorcycle enthusiast, held close knit realtionships with friends and family, wanted very much a family of his own, and an all around great guy. This was the kind of guy any woman would want to be on a date with. He wanted to hear all about me, and only me. He seemed to be genuinely interested in everything about me and this was absolutely intoxicating. He asked question afer quetsion. And not just general questions, along the lines of, "Oh, really? So what happened next?" He asked insightful, thought-provoking quetsions which evolved into a really first great date. By the end of the date, I was wooed, that was for sure.

So, what happened with him? Am I really like Cher? Did he move in the next day?

Stay tuned, Dear Readers.

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