Options?

Options... I seem to have so many at the moment and it's making me feel a little nomadic.

I feel no real tie to Chicago anymore. Once my parents move out of the city (and the midwest altogether), that's going to be it for me. The rest of my family is in New York, my closest friends no longer live here, and my job isn't enough of a reason to stay. My job has been good to me. I've been with it for 5 years and in that time I've had the flexibility to go to school and get a BFA in Interior Design. Without the flexibility its offered (working off hours and the chance to work in the evenings if needed) my degree would have taken much longer. Now that I have the degree, I'm ready to move on.

And on top of that, this city is wearing me down.... to a small nub. It's loud, dirty, crumbling, crowded, and pockets of it truly smell like garbage (no joke, drive down to Ashland and Clybourn, its narsty). I feel like I've been to every bar, driven on every street, eaten at every restaurant, shopped at every store... you get the picture. My tolerance is all but dried up. I used to love it here, but I could only see the good parts. In the few warm months we have, its quite pretty. We have a lovely lake. We have lush, green boulevards and plenty of public parks. But what the fuck Chicago? Is that all you've got?

I see a pattern here. "I could only see the good parts." Sounds a little like my relationship, no? This is why it's also difficult to be here. I've lived in Illinois for 14 years, 10 years of which have been in Chicago and 9 years of which have been with him. All of my experiences here include him. I don't really want these reminders anymore. I want to start fresh in a new town and not be faced with the memories, good or bad. I'd like to make some lovely new memories and perhaps make some exciting new mistakes.

So where do I go? Spin the globe and pick a city? It seems as arbitrary as that. It can be just about anywhere. Two on the list so far: Anywheresville, California or Charleston, South Carolina. Why Charleston? I dunno!

To add insult to injury (and I am not exaggerating) there seems to be a college party across the street blasting Animal Collective while a chorus of drunk men are screaming out lyrics right outside my bedroom window. I might have heard a motorcycle too, which makes it feel like a lamer version of Road House... but without the Swayze. 

Oh, Chicago.... I'm so over you.